(picture by Cliff Ritchey, www.cliffritcheyart.com)

We are having such a blast with Soren. It seems that every emotion has a different sort of depth to it... joy, fear, gratitude, laughter... I love this picture because it shows Jeff's hands holding her up. It's to me almost like a symbol of a parent entrusting his or her child to the world. Soren celebrated her 1 month birthday on Sunday (I cried all the way through the singing of "Happy Birthday"). We also celebrated by Mom's birthday this weekend. There was great food, thoughtful gifts, much laughter, candles lit, and snowfall on the ground. Most importantly, we were all together. Mom seemed so happy and full of life as we were all able to be together as a family for the evening. I have been thinking about the way that my parents have entrusted me (and my siblings, and the same for Jeff's family) to the world. The fact that they let me travel to different countries growing up - and even worked long hours and saved pennies to send me! They let me go to Australia without them when I was 12. They let me ski. They let me go white water rafting. For Pete's sake, they let me out of the house. Having a daughter now, I understand in a totally new way what incredible trust and grace that must have taken. I understand how they must have relied on each other to give us over to life itself. People said we'd appreciate our parents in a new way and I get it now. It's not about appreciating that they changed a thousand dirty diapers and paid for college (although that's huge in itself); it's much more though. I appreciate that our parents were able to love us and set us free to explore life outside of our front porches. I appreciate that even with the anxiety that could have accompanied this beautiful choice, they chose to do it all again and have more kids! I had no idea how proud of them I'd ever be and how thankful for them I'd feel.

(top pic by Melissa Hanley, www.melissahanleyphotography.com)

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Right before Soren was born, Jeff and I went to see Jerry Seinfeld's new movie, "The Bee Movie". It was cute and clever. One of the things that really sparked my interest to see this movie was seeing Seinfeld interviewed by Oprah. Because I like him and what he had to say that day, I especially wanted to see his movie. He was accompanied by his wife. Oprah asked how they seem to have such a good marriage and asked if that was a lot of hard work. He responded saying, "What is it with everyone saying it's hard work? People who are lazy say marriage is hard work!" He went on to say that he loved the "general-around-ness" of his wife. He loved being in her presence and he wouldn't use the word work to describe effort in their marriage.

I have always felt that way as well about using the word "hard work" when it comes to love. I've felt that way with Jeff and I feel that way with Soren. So many people warned us about having kids - "it's hard work, but it's worth it". I always get a mental picture of an old-school calibrated balance scale. If you put enough work in, then things will cancel each other out and your scale will be even - half hard work and half happiness and you're level. In actuality, I have always found that love is more like the ocean. It's grand, it's majestic, it's deep, it's utterly inexplainable. It would be silly for me to describe my personal experience with the ocean as hard work, but I could say things like - "It's such hard work, you actually have to move your arms to stay above the water! I feel like I'm always kicking my feet! I have to breathe in between waves - ugh!" But, then I would miss that the ocean is HUGE. The water rushing over my arms and legs, the ability to move about in it, all of this is a gift. I would never even say enough hard work once you get in the ocean, and it's all worth it because the grandeur of the ocean so far outweighs any amount of effort, that it would be ridiculous. This time with Jeff and Soren has been like a beautiful trip to the ocean, and I'm enjoying the swim...